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Khud Ko Khud Mein Dhoondne Ki Talash - Deep Urdu Nazm by Atif Wani | Sahityashala

The journey of self-discovery is often more bewildering than the destination itself. In the vast ocean of Urdu Literature, poets have long grappled with the question of "Who am I?". Today, we present a profound original composition by a rising talent, Atif Wani. His poem, "Khud Ko Khud Mein Dhoondne Ki Talash" (Finding Oneself Inside Him), delves into the paradox of searching for one's soul only to get lost in its infinite depths.

Conceptual painting of a man sitting dejectedly by a river of glowing light in a dark forest, symbolizing self-discovery.
An artistic interpretation of the poem's central theme: the profound journey of searching for oneself.

Much like the legendary works where poets explore memory and loss—such as in Ahmad Faraz's masterpieces on remembrance—Atif’s verses capture the solitude of the seeker. Join us as we unravel the layers of this beautiful Nazm, providing the original Urdu text, Hindi transliteration, and a deep English analysis.

Poem Overview: Khud Ko Khud Mein

Poet: Atif Wani
Genre: Philosophical / Existential Urdu Nazm
Core Theme: Self-Annihilation (Fana)


Original Urdu Script

خود کو خود میں ڈھونڈنے کی تلاش میں
نکلے ہوئے تھے اس قدر کہ
پتا چلا کہ ڈھونڈتے ڈھونڈتے کھوتے چلے گئے

اتنا گہرا راز چھپا تھا اپنے اندر کہ جب پتا
چلا اس راز کا، اس میں بہتے چلے گئے


Hindi Transliteration (Devanagari)

खुद को खुद में ढूँढने की तलाश में
निकले हुए थे इस कदर कि
पता चला कि ढूँढते-ढूँढते खोते चले गए

इतना गहरा राज़ छुपा था अपने अंदर कि जब पता
चला उस राज़ का, उस में बहते चले गए


English Meaning & Transliteration

Roman Urdu:
Khud ko khud mein dhoondne ki talash mein
Nikle hue they iss qadar ke
Pata chala ke dhoondte dhoondte khote chale gaye...

English Translation:
In the intense quest to find myself within myself,
I had ventured so far out that,
I realized that in the process of searching, I only kept getting lost.

Roman Urdu:
Itna gehra raaz chhupa tha apne andar ke jab pata
Chala iss raaz ka, uss mein behte chale gaye.

English Translation:
Such a deep secret was hidden inside me that when I finally,
Became aware of this secret, I simply kept flowing (drifting) away into it.


Deep Meaning & Literary Analysis

Atif Wani's poetry touches upon the concept of Fana (annihilation of the self) often found in Sufi traditions. The poet starts with a clear intent: introspection. However, the irony lies in the outcome. Instead of finding a solid definition of "self," the poet dissolves into the mystery of existence.

Portrait of poet Atif Wani.
Atif Wani, whose deep Urdu poetry is featured on Sahityashala.

The Philosophy of "Flowing Away"

This sentiment echoes the pain and realization found in modern Ghazals, similar to how Ahmad Salman describes the grief that passes over us. While Salman speaks of external grief, Wani speaks of internal dissolution. The "flowing away" (Behte chale gaye) signifies a surrender to the cosmic flow, a theme often connected to nature. Just as we find peace under the shade of trees as described in recent nature poetry, here the poet finds an overwhelming peace within his own soul's secret.

This depth of emotion is not unlike the profound bond shared in human relationships, such as the unspoken connection between a father and daughter, where understanding transcends words and becomes a state of being.

Editor’s Note: This poem has been reviewed by the Sahityashala Editorial Team. We believe in providing a platform for authentic voices like Atif’s that explore the complexities of the human condition.

About the Author

Name: Atif Wani
Pen Name: Atif
Instagram: @atif_wanii

Atif is a rising voice in the world of Urdu and English literature. His work "Finding Oneself Inside Him" showcases a maturity of thought that bridges the gap between classic philosophy and modern existential crisis.

How did this poem resonate with you? Did you find the 'secret' within yourself? Let us know in the comments below.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is the meaning of the Urdu poem "Khud Ko Khud Mein"?

The poem by Atif Wani explores the existential paradox where searching for one's identity leads to getting lost in the "deep secret" of the soul, a concept similar to Sufi Fana.

How can I read this poem in Hindi and Roman Urdu?

This article provides the full original Urdu script, along with Hindi (Devanagari) transliteration and English translation for a complete understanding.

Who is the poet Atif Wani?

Atif Wani is a contemporary poet published on Sahityashala, known for his deep philosophical verses in Urdu and English. You can find him on Instagram @atif_wanii.

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